Montana / Outtakes

I love looking back through files from older shoots. Coming back to them with fresh eyes always lets me notice details or looks I hadn't before. Plus, I love getting to shoot with Montana. He's one of those guys who really doesn't take a bad photo. So here are a few photos that never made it to editing board before. Enjoy!

Birthday Boy

It's not anyone's birthday, but we had a damn cake. There's not much to say about this series except that icing is really sticky and if you put your dick in a cake, your junk will smell delicious. I guess I'll say that I wanted the photos to have a filmy / polaroid vibe, kind of like a perverted version of pictures from your childhood birthdays.

Chad / Baby Don't Hurt Me

Let me be the first to admit that I am a pretty vanilla person in bed. No reason besides that I haven't experimented much - I'm not opposed to it, but it seems to me that many people are. This got me thinking about my queen, Madonna, and her Erotica album. Released in 1992, Erotica is still one of the most controversial albums ever made. The album doesn't just ooze sexuality and bring sexual taboos to the mainstream, but it makes the listener its fucking sub. At the time the world wasn't ready for such a sexually charged work of art, and the fact that Madonna was a woman didn't help either. Yes, women's sexual liberation was well underway before Madonna, but it was a first example of a mainstream artist demanding you to shut up and open wide.

Fast forward to 2020 and we're still a sexually stunted society. Some people would see these images and cry "pornography" - not something I'm a stranger to hearing. But I could not disagree more. People scare easily, and they've been raised to be ashamed of their bodies and sexuality. I'd like this series to help normalize those things...if you want to be cuffed to a damn bed and whipped like a pig, I hope that you are brave enough to ask for what you want instead of judging others for getting it.

"If you're afraid, we'll rise above. I only hurt the ones I love."

Benji / At Home With

Benji is no stranger to my camera. We've shot together quite a few times, but never in his own home. This is part of an ongoing series that I have been working on with people in their own spaces. I love the added element of storytelling being in new environments has added to my portfolio. Because I had never seen his place before this shoot, I wasn't sure what to expect or prepare for. The challenge of shooting in an unfamiliar place was a welcome one. I liked the casualness and spontaneity of these shots, and I don't think that would have happened if I had been in the space before. As for Benji, I think we captured his personality wonderfully.

One Quiet And Rainy Afternoon

What can I say? When you schedule a shoot and it starts raining, there's obviously nothing else to do but stay inside and play with inhalants. That's almost a joke. Poppers are dangerous, kids. Everything in moderation though, amyl right? See what I did there? The goal here isn't to glamorize amyl nitrates, but to show an intimate look at a very common thing that we don't like to talk about. Live your life, fuck responsibly, and be careful, Colby loves you.

Jake / Like A Beauty Queen

Eeey, look who's back. I love this dude, guys. Jake and I met years ago when he lived here in the midwest, he's since been all over and it's exciting watching his journey. When he was in town last, we hung out and these are some shots I got during his visit. I think my favorite thing about Jake is his adventurous and free spirit. He's an open book and completely confident in himself without being cocky - a rare thing to be sure. Check out the photos and enjoy!

Shon / This Is Me

Shon has one of those smiles that makes everyone around him smile too. You would never imagine from these photos that he considers himself to be a very shy and anxious person. Getting to know him during the shoot, he shared with me where a lot of his insecurities come from. Unfortunately it's a story that most of us are all too familiar with.  

Shon grew up in rural Missouri. Going to high school in a town with a population less than a thousand people was a challenge for an openly gay kid. Shon opened up to me about his experiences with bullying and his struggle to accept himself when his peers did not. He told me that it was hard for him to even walk down the street without being harassed. I guess if there's a silver lining to experiences like these it's that it instills a drive and passion in us to achieve more and expand our horizons beyond a small town where few come to, but even fewer leave. 

Though Shon has moved on from high school, the insecurity and anxiety burned into him by small minded people still affects him. The week leading up to our shoot, he expressed to me that he was feeling nervous because he doesn't feel secure with his body, and that he is naturally quite shy and awkward. He was feeling fearful of opening himself up to the judgement of others, something he dealt with on a daily basis growing up. This shoot would be a big step for him and he didn't want that fear to stop him. He's glad it didn't. I am too. 

The best part of shooting people, nude or otherwise, is showing them how they look through someone else's eyes. You can look in a mirror all day, but you will never be able to see yourself objectively. It's the best feeling to have a small role in people's lives like that. During our shoot I could tell Shon was nervous at first, as most people are. Making the model feel comfortable and confident is something I've perfected through the years, and it shows in these photos. Like I said earlier, you would never guess that he harbors so much anxiety over the way he looks. I love how the photos turned out, and even better; he does too. Thank you, Shon, for sharing your story and your body with me...you're a wonderful human being. Cheers to learning to love ourselves!